“Probably there is nothing in human nature more resonant with charges than the flow of energy between two biologically alike bodies, one of which has lain in amniotic bliss inside the other, one of which has labored to give birth to the other. The materials are here for the deepest mutuality and the most painful estrangement.”
― Adrienne Rich, Of Woman Born: Motherhood as Experience and Institution
Parenting a teenager is/was never easy and no family is immune to it. Nowadays, there are many ‘HOW TO’ books in the market advising parents to tweak their parenting skills to understand and handle the ‘tween’ or ‘teen’ phase of their children.
Twenty five years ago, in a small sleepy town with only one library and no access to internet, my Mother did not have access to this wealth of knowledge. Ma and I, handled it in the way we thought was best.
I was no longer her ‘well behaved, obedient’ daughter. I was arguing, talking back, questioning the curfew times. My friends now were more important to me.
Ma’s ‘ we need to talk‘ sessions seemed to get longer and longer everyday. We never seemed to agree. At the end I would invariably storm out shouting “You don’t understand me, you don’t love me !!!”
One day, angrily I poured my heart out in a diary. Filled it with the most acidic remarks, frustration and my rebellious point of view. It was my secret, my emotions, something I would NEVER show anyone.
Ma found it lying on my study table one day.I must have forgotten to put it back in the drawer. She read it. (I’m sure she was hurt and must have cried. )
Our disagreements did not stop and I continued writing in my secret diary. Ma continued to oppose my rebellious behaviour but this time it was as if she could read my mind and her advice did not feel so insensitive.
Many years later, I watched with horror my ‘teen’ sister argue with my aunt in the most unacceptable manner. I looked at Ma. She winked at me and said ” Shall we tell her about your secret diary ” 🙂
I felt so, soooo embarrassed. I had no clue that she had been reading the diary.
My diary, lying carelessly on the table, was her guide to tackle her rebellious daughter.
( She still has that diary with her. :))
Daily Prompt : Locked and Sealed: Can you keep a secret? Have you ever — intentionally or not — spilled the beans (when you should’ve stayed quiet)?