Acceptance

For the past 7 years, ever since I quit my job to be a stay-at-home mom, I have floated in and out of depression-

doubted my decision

wallowed in self pity

imagined myself to be a martyr

wrapped my self in jealousy

ruined relationships

shut myself from the world

It was tough for me. It was worse for my husband and my little son who patiently stood by me during my fits of anger, unpredictable mood swings and my ‘ do not ask, I’ll explode’ moments. My heart goes out to my little one, he deserved better.I’m so sorry.

Many of you who read my blogs might have sensed the turmoil, the state of confusion. Elena  Home That We Built  and Mabel  Mabel Kwong surely did. 🙂

Yes, my post The Coin’s Wish was written during one such low, low phase.

As 2015 draws to a close, I think, I can say with confidence that I have kind of figured out what I want from my life and how I want to live it.

I’m more grounded now

I’m happy

I feel hopeful about the future.

In retrospect, I think this unsure, disturbing phase of my life, though a long one, was a necessary evil.

 

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